The Shift Worker's Wife

Nimble Fumblings of a Mom, Wife, and Quirky Creative

Category: Balance

5 Lies You Should STOP Telling Yourself

Pinocchio_LyingAdult-ing is hard. The struggle is real. But you know what my mother would say? She’d say, “Quit complaining, pull up your big kid britches and get to work, because it isn’t anybody else’s job to adult for you.” She’s a tough broad, and she may not be generous with her sympathy. But you know what? She’s usually right.

As I approach my 30th birthday tomorrow, I’m reflecting back on all the ways I’ve screwed up this whole adult thing in my 20s, and how I can improve in the next decade.

I can honestly say I’m actually looking forward to 30. Sure, my genetic eye wrinkles are coming in full force and gravity is for sure taking its toll on my post-child-bearing bod, but those things are being offset by greater wisdom. I’ve discovered a new sense of peace during this last year of my twenties that I’m excited to carry over into the subsequent phases of my life.

Unfortunately for me, this newfound peace was birthed from a place of self-loathing. Not a good time, feeling like I just wasn’t doing anything right. And I truly believe it was because I was telling myself these lies. Lies about life that society misrepresents as truth.

So if you haven’t done so already, I urge you to denounce these lies sooner rather than later. Because there’s loads of potential and happiness inside of you that can shine brightest after you lift the weight of these lies off your shoulders.

Lie #1) You Can “Have It All,” All At Once

joneses-300x210We’re grownups now, right? So we “need” stuff and, unfortunately that stuff costs money. Stuff like…A beautifully decorated home that stays clean and organized. A nice car. A techy cell phone. Cable TV and a movie streaming service. Classy date nights. Tropical Vacations. A home and vehicle maintenance fund. An emergency fund. Health insurance. Property insurance. Life insurance. Disability insurance. Personal liability insurance. And you also need diversified retirement funds. Money for wedding gifts, housewarming gifts, bereavement gifts, birthday gifts, holiday gifts. And if you’re like really on the ball, you have money set aside to help pay for your kids’ college, their wedding, or maybe to help them with a down payment on their first house. Ok. Got that?

Now you’re also going to need to be very mindful of this little non-renewable resource we call TIME. Time to work for all that money to pay for the things listed above. Time to relax. Time for family. Time for friends. Time for service and philanthropy. Time to exercise. Time (and energy) for sex. Time to shop for, prepare, and eat nutritious meals. And time to sleep.

I mean…that’s doable, right? WRONG! If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past decade, it’s that having and doing all of these things all at the same time is a physical and emotional IMPOSSIBILITY. That is, I guess, unless you’re an independently wealthy heir to a family fortune. Lucky duck.

As for the rest of us, we’re only human! We are lying to ourselves if we think we can have it all, all at once. You can have some of it during one phase of your life, and some of it later in life, but you’ll make yourself miserable thinking you’re going to have it all right out of the gate.

The truth is, you have to choose. You have to decide what is most important to you right now and gracefully allow the other stuff to slide until another time. Talk to a financial planner. Talk to a therapist. Talk to your grandma! Grandmas are so smart, seriously. And discover your best balance somewhere in between being awesome and being a complete slug.

Lie #2) Your Health Can Wait Until Life Calms Down

ticktock-1Nope. Just nope. We know better than this, people! Bad health habits compound over time. Not sleeping? Eating a bunch of junk? Ignoring pain? Justifying excess stress? Don’t lie to yourself and act like it’s okay. These things will catch up to you if you don’t do something about it NOW. Life simply does not “calm down” on its own. You have to take control. You have to take action.

We can’t fix everything overnight, but we can be progressive. Focus on one problem at a time and stop making excuses. Find resources and use them. I’m sorry I’m NOT sorry about my crass opinion on this one. I am my mother’s daughter after all…

Lie #3) You Make Enough Money to Afford That Loan

loanOh boy, we sure believed this lie!!! And we ended up financing ourselves into a very tight corner. We were making a healthy income, so we felt like we “deserved” to have nice things without the wait. Bad life decision.

I know we’re not the only ones. Unfortunately, I think most people have to learn this truth the hard way. I wish my parents had emphasized the importance of responsible money management as hard as they emphasized the importance of getting good grades.   But I can wish in one hand and poop in the other, right? No use crying over spilled milk. I can’t be the pot calling the kettle black…yes, I’m stalling because I’m still in the process of learning how to fix the money mistakes we’ve made.

I realize I’m not the best person to give advice on this topic. I just know we’ve screwed this one up and I hope you, my readers, are smarter than me.

Lie #4) It’s Someone Else’s Fault

shutterstock_116562400_Man_Being_Blamed_300pxDangit, sometimes I really wish I could blame someone else. The good old blame game–it’s so easy to play, but you can never really win. Like me blaming my parents for not teaching me to save money. It’s not their fault. My own actions got me into debt. And I’m going to have to work my way out of it, fair and square.

I’m not saying that I don’t still allow myself to believe this lie sometimes…like when I have to waste 20 minutes of my day talking to a customer service robot…but you know what? I chose to give my business to that company. Shame on me, not blame on them.

This lie is like one big umbrella. It covers so many areas of life — relationships, money, health, happiness, time, and on and on. I’m trying not to preach, but I truly believe that passing blame and having a victim mentality dilutes our human potential.  We just gotta own it.

***NOTE: The one exception here…when hubby places his dirty socks on a countertop or table…why in the $#@! would he do that?!?! Totally his fault. My fury will be unleashed.

Lie #5) You’re Too Cool for a Minivan, Dammit

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Quick, somebody call the Wambulance because I’m about to cry about this one. Yes, my name is Jenny, and I drive a minivan. There. I said it.

And you know what really pains me… I actually love my minivan. My kids LOVE the minivan. My dogs love the minivan. My hunky husband looks like a huge dork driving the minivan, and he loves it. This is real life, people. Get ready for it.

Denial was expensive. First I had an Equinox – it was uncomfortable. So we traded for an Armada – it guzzled gas when prices hit $4.10/gallon, yikes! Then we were working really hard and super stressed so we traded for a 4-door Jeep Wrangler because it would be “fun” with 2 kids – that was just plain stupid. And finally, after all my kicking and screaming, I surrendered to the practicality of the damn minivan.

I’m pretty sure I wasn’t cool before the minivan, but now I’m just waving my Mom flag loud and proud as I cruise the strip in my “Super Ship” (that’s what my superhero-obsessed sons call it…seriously).

It’s a Nissan Quest. It gets great gas mileage. It’s comfortable and it has a movie player in the back seat. I’m slowly buy surely learning to accept the fact that I’ll be driving a minivan until my kids no longer have to ride in car seats (which probably won’t be until they’re like 18, thanks to super safety laws). Neat.

 

So there you have it. My raw, unadulterated, finger-in-the-air, soapbox-style advice on adulthood. Kids, love your naps and respect your parents. Please and thanks.

Now go forth, and adult like you mean it. 

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Working From Home

Any other shift spouses (or any other human, really) out there find that working a traditional job makes relationship balance nearly impossible??

I mean, Hubby is at work for 14 hours at a time, sometimes over weekends, other times through the night.  If I worked a “regular” M-F, 9-5, we would never see each other.  And the kids, they would really get the short end of the stick.

So for our family, we decided the best solution was for me to stay home with our littles so that our family schedule can flex around Hub’s work schedule.  And since my hyperactive mind prevents me from only doing one thing at any given time, I wear the hats of full-time Mom and Domestic Engineer, AdvoCare Advisor, and Blogger-in-Progress.

By getting creative with my career, I’m able to contribute to our family’s income and fulfill my own professional interests while still enjoying loads of quality time with my kids and handsome Hubby.

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Don’t get me wrong…working from home isn’t always sunshine and butterflies.  More often than I want to admit, it makes for sleepless nights and major busy brain syndrome.  But for our situation, I can’t imagine trying to juggle my interests or ambitions any other way.

If you’re like me and want/need a way to make money and fulfill your passions with maximum flexibility to fit the #ShiftLife, I’d love to hear from you.  Connect with me on Facebook or Contact Me so we can swap stories.

My Advo Arsenal

If I’m being completely honest with you, friends, I have to tell you that I need help.  I need help eating right.  I need help sleeping at night.  I need help to not feel like a slug.

This personal struggle is exactly what led me to become an Advisor with AdvoCare International

Please note:  I have zero interest in forcing products on people who have zero interest in them, but for the people who are curious about the products I use on a regular basis, here they

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends…

*The Motivator: Spark

Spark. The one and only. This delicious beverage clears me of my low energy funks and mental fogs on a daily basis.  I love my morning coffee, but Spark puts some extra pep in my step after a particularly restless night or if my motivation takes a dive after lunch.

AdvoCare Spark® is a unique multi-nutrient system that was developed as a nutritional source of energy and enhanced mental focus.* It’s sugar free with more than 20 vitamins, minerals and nutrients that work synergistically to provide a healthy, balanced and effective source of energy that won’t overburden or over stimulate your body.* AdvoCare Spark® contains an effective amount of caffeine to give you the quick boost you’re looking for, B vitamins to enhance your body’s natural ability to produce and sustain its own energy, and neuroactive amino acids that help increase your mental focus and alertness by supporting your brain’s ability to receive and send messages.*

  • Enhances mental energy and focus*
  • Provides support for long-lasting energy*
  • Helps fight occasional drowsiness*
  • Over 20 vitamins, minerals and nutrients*
  • Sugar-free*

*The Over Achiever: CorePlex

I have resisted taking a Multi Vitamin for much of my adult life.  I am not awesome at swallowing pills, so at best, I may have had a few good months of taking a chewable gummy vitamin of some kind.  The thing was, I never felt any different when taking those chewables so I had little motivation to stay with it.

This is NOT the case with my AdvoCare CorePlex.  I take 3 pills in the morning with my breakfast. Every. Day.  It’s loaded with high quality ingredients, and I genuinely feel GREAT when I take them.

CorePlex provides a synergistic combination of vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and botanicals to help supply the body with the nutritional components it needs to maintain optimal health.* Each ingredient in CorePlex helps supplement an individual’s diet and provides the nutritional balance often lacking in the daily diet.* While there are many multivitamin supplements on the market today, CorePlex provides a balance of the right nutrients at the proper levels to assure optimal absorption and benefits.*

  • Contains a synergistic blend of vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and botanicals
  • Provides a strong nutritional foundation for the whole family*
  • Provides a comprehensive package of B vitamins
  • Contains antioxidants to help combat the effects of free radicals*

*The Multi-Tasker: OmegaPlex

Omegas.  The good stuff.  I, like most people, do not consume anywhere near the daily recommended amounts of Omega 3s in my diet, so this product is an excellent supplement to help me make up what my diet is lacking.

OmegaPlex is a safe, convenient and easy way to get the omega-3 fatty acids that may be missing in your diet. While other omega-3 supplements may have only EPA or DHA, OmegaPlex has both of these important omega-3s in the right proportions for maximum benefit.* Each serving of OmegaPlex contains a concentrate of 1,000 mg long-chain omega-3 fatty acids (600 mg of EPA and 400 mg of DHA). *OmegaPlex is paramount for core nutrition because of its involvement in the transport of nutrients, the maintenance of healthy skin, and the support of a healthy immune system.* It plays a key role in cardiovascular activity by supporting normal blood flow and healthy blood pressure.* In fact, consumption of omega-3 fatty acids may reduce the risk of coronary heart disease.* Furthermore, it aids in weight management by supporting healthy metabolism, and providing and storing energy for the body.*

  • Nerve Function
  • Heart Health
  • Immune Support
  • Hair, Skin and Nails
  • Weight Management and Metabolism Support

*The Smooth Operator: Probiotic Restore Ultra

I’m just being honest. I have tummy troubles.  And I know that a healthy gut contributes to improved overall health; therefore, I am adamant about taking this high quality probiotic supplement.

ProBiotic Restore ULTRA has been carefully formulated to contain seven kinds of beneficial microorganisms. This combination of probiotics in effective levels helps to populate the upper and lower intestine. ProBiotic Restore ™ ULTRA strongly supports your body’s overall health by helping maintain the normal, healthy bacteria your body needs.*

  • Helps maintain normal beneficial intestinal microflora*
  • Supports healthy intestinal function*
  • Enhances weight management*
  • Improves nutrient absorption*
  • Aids in good digestion*
  • Provides immune system support*
  • Helps relieve symptoms of occasional constipation*
  • High amounts of friendly probiotics:
    Seven different strains
    Six Billion cfu

The Peace Keeper: Clear Mood

I am a Mom.  It is the BEST job in the world… but it can be incredibly stressful and trying at times.  When I don’t get enough sleep, or when my workouts don’t flood my blood with endorphins, my Clear Mood helps me keep my cool.

Clear Mood facilitates brain and nerve cell function by providing important neurotransmitters that help lower the effects of occasional stress, nervousness and worry.* One such agent, known as 5-HTP, is vital for the production of serotonin necessary for the brain and nervous system.*

  • Helps brighten mood from the occasional blues*
  • Supports sense of well-being*
  • Provides support for relaxation*

The Sculpter: Catalyst

Catalyst provides a blend of essential branched-chain amino acids and L-glutamine to fuel your body with the muscle-building components it needs.* Catalyst helps repair and protect muscle, and provides the essential amino acids needed to maintain and promote lean body mass, endurance and strength.* Catalyst helps rid the fat and retain muscle when used in combination with a healthy diet, exercise, and other AdvoCare products such as Meal Replacement Shakes or Muscle Gain™.

  • Helps maintain muscle mass during exercise and weight management*
  • Helps support post-exercise muscle repair and recovery*
  • Aids in preserving muscle and energy levels during times of calorie restriction*
  • Supports mental energy and focus*
  • Contains branched-chain amino acids and L-glutamine, L-arginine, betaine, and taurine

The Dreamer: SleepWorks

SleepWorks helps produce sound and restful sleep on occasional sleepless nights to help you awaken refreshed.* With niacin, vitamin B-6, magnesium and zinc, SleepWorks helps you naturally relax and get to sleep more rapidly.* It also contains valerian, which has been used as a medicinal herb since the time of ancient Greece and Rome and is associated with stress relief.* Passion Flower has also traditionally been used as a calming botanical, lowering the activity of some brain cells and providing a relaxed feeling.* Melatonin is a naturally occurring hormone produced within the body and is involved in a complex process that regulates the body’s circadian rhythm.*

  • Promotes better sleep by helping you fall asleep, stay asleep, and awaken refreshed*